It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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