That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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