wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Everyone says I win the strip club
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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