Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
