I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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