Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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