im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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