i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I would ride that face into the sunset
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
