fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
