At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
