We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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