ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
