somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
