tonight lets celebrate not being married
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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