How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I think your dad took our porno
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
