Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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