Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Damn victory sex feels great
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
