What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
