the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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