I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
ok first of all what the fuck
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
