Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
high people should be assigned attendants
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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