I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Randomize
