i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
