I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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