I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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