just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
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I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
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Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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