babies were throwing up all over the place
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
