Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
