he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize