I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
