That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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