you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
