btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
