Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
