I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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