You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
