Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Randomize
