He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
