During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
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