I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
