Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
