dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
