I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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