I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
she smelled like a LAN party
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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