btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize