So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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