Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
