too bad you live with your parents still
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
