ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
