I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
she smelled like a LAN party
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
