i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
