Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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