I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
i dont even know how to be here
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
