its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
