Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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