i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
