My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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