When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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