So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize