That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Randomize
