I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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