I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
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